Family Conflict

Family Wounds and Intergenerational Trauma

Intergenerational trauma isn't usually the first thing that comes to mind when we think about what families pass down from one generation to the next, but it couldn't be more universal. Psychological and emotional pain can often be traced back generations, transmitted through historical, cultural, or familial events. The impact of past suffering can be carried forward through beliefs, behaviors, and relationships within families. They link generations together, albeit in less visible ways than looks or personality traits might. 

Breaking this cycle involves acknowledging, understanding, and addressing the inherited effects of trauma. In therapy, we'll start by exploring your story and identifying ways you would like to move forward. Healing from intergenerational trauma in therapy can help not only to improve your present wellbeing, but to break away from patterns and create a new narrative of your future.

Conflict in Values, Religious Beliefs, Political Views, etc.

Generational gaps present themselves in various ways among families. It's not uncommon for children's worldview to deviate from their parents' as they grow into young adults. While to some extent this represents a natural progression, other times it can lead to significant strains in family relationships due to conflicting values and belief systems. 

If you find that these differences are getting in the way of maintaining the type of relationship you desire with your family, I may be able to help. Individual therapy can help clarify your own values, needs, and boundaries. Family sessions may also be helpful to work through conflicts and resentments, while improving communication.

Acculturation Differences

As immigration continues to be weaved into the fabric of our society, members within a family are often experiencing different levels of acculturation concurrently. This introduces a layer of complexity that can challenge family relationships as it may be more difficult to find common ground and mutual understanding. Embracing ancestral heritage while adapting to a new cultural context can be a tricky task as well. 

My journey as an international student, a grandchild of immigrants, and an immigrant myself informs and humbles my perspective about these challenges. In therapy, I help clients navigate the difficulties of straddling two cultures, with the goal of finding peace and joy in both.  

FAQ

1. If I want to work on family issues, how do I decide between individual therapy and family therapy?

If you're early in the process of confronting family trauma or ruptures, you have not discussed your concerns with the other family member(s) and wish to have a private space to process these issues (and haven't done so in individual therapy), or your family member has declined to participate in family therapy, then individual therapy may be more appropriate for you. On the other hand, if you've tried to have conversations with your family member(s) but find that you hit the same roadblocks or challenging patterns, and all parties involved are interested in having a third party mediate or facilitate the discussion, then family therapy is a very viable option!

2. How does family therapy with adults work? 

Clinically, the family unit (e.g., parent-adult child, adult siblings) is regarded as the client, and joint family goals are identified at the outset of family therapy. Dr. Chu typically offers a separate free phone consultation with each family member who plans to attend family therapy, and once there is consensus to proceed, we schedule a joint intake appointment where the family unit attends the video appointment together. Dr. Chu's role and priority are to facilitate the family unit meeting its treatment goals, and these desired outcomes might look different for each family. 

3. Do family members have to be in the same city or state to attend family therapy? 

No, family members often attend video appointments from different cities or states! You'll each need to have stable Internet service and a device with a camera and microphone. You'll need to be located in one of the 43 U.S. states where Dr. Chu's is authorized to practice. Please scroll down on this page to determine if your state is a PSYPACT® state.

4. What approaches do you use in family therapy?

Dr. Chu considers each family unit as a system in which each person's behaviors and emotions affect others. She helps to identify problematic patterns and change the interactions that may maintain them, in order to create clearer, healthier relationships. There is often a strong emphasis on practicing new communication strategies, including listening, interpreting, understanding, and expressing ourselves more effectively.